Day 26 of a 42 day program
Weight: 203.6
There is something seriously wrong with me this week. I don't know how to describe it. I hate to blame any one thing: stress, crazy schedule, etc, but something is definitely not working in my will power department. What am I talking about?
I HAD MEXICAN FOOD FOR DINNER!!
Not just something I made at home, I'm talking Tex-Mex, restaurant-style, dripping with oil fajitas. I didn't eat the beans (refried) that came with it, nor did I have cheese or sour cream on them. I even didn't touch the tortilla, but the oil dripping from the food was enough to lube up a __________________ (insert inappropriate simile here). I watched myself shovel the food (at least it was just chicken, onions and bell peppers) into my mouth. I ate what was probably at least 2 1/2 servings! I ate the WHOLE DAMN THING.
Now I'm home, uncomfortably full, and guilt laden. Why? Why? Why? I know better. It is like for the last 2 days I have been sabotaging my progress. I want so badly to get below 200. Hell my ultimate goal is 175. I am never going to get there if I keep this $h!t up!
I am scared to death about what the scale will say tomorrow... I got a reprieve this morning, but I doubt the diet gods will be so gracious tomorrow.
I am so disappointed in myself I can hardly even think of what to write. Ok, so I am going to get off here, take a bath, get out and stand buck naked in front of the mirror. If a long hard look at myself in the buff doesn't scare me back onto the right path, I don't know what will.
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