Day 23 of Phase 2

Day 25 of a 42 day program
Weight: 203.8

Wonderful weigh in this morning! I was so excited for the day to get started. Seeing that number brought with it a sense of renewed drive for the diet!

At least it did for the following 30 min.s. After that, things changed...

Today was my day off from the office, and I had hoped to spend it writing and doing some housework while my son was at preschool, then after picking him up spending some time as a mom. That sounded great to me, it's just not what happened. Instead the phone calls from the office started and continued. Staffing problems. Strike that, problem with a staff member. By the time 10 am rolled around I was so frustrated that I was already thinking of cheating. I guess stress makes me hungry.

I made it to lunch and had my tuna and some cucumber slices, an apple and Melba toast. I was good. It took all I had to just stick to the plan, but I did it.

The phone calls, texts, complaints, etc, all kept coming...

Then it happened. Once my son was home he wanted a "peep" as a snack. I was on the phone with the office and before I knew what I was doing I was chewing on a peep myself. I don't even like peeps... 37 calories. That is what that one peep equaled. 37 wasted calories.

By the time dinner rolled around I was beyond tired of the drama that I had been dealing with. I made stuffed bell peppers (with ground chicken). Had mine all weighed out and used Melba toast crumbs instead of rice in mine. I ate it like I had never had a bite of food in my life, so of course, because I ate it so fast, I was still REALLY hungry. I know this is wrong, and I know I should have fought the thoughts, but I honestly said (in my head) WTH, You already blew the diet for the day with the peep, might as well go all out! So I did. I ate the other 1/2 of my son's bell pepper. It had more sauce than I needed. It was made with rice and of course it was topped with a large blob of melted mozzarella cheese. Frankly it was, at that moment, the best thing I had ever eaten.

I know that I should feel guilt, and I am sure that I will tomorrow when I step up on the scale and see the number go way up, but right now I don't. I know it sounds nuts, not to mention anti-HCG protocol, but it was as if I NEEDED something more today. It wasn't a Chick-fil-a Cookies-n-Cream milkshake (570 calories for a small!), and to be honest I seriously thought about getting one, but it was still cheating and I know that I cannot do it again. Unfortunately, for tonight I am OK with my choice. Ask me tomorrow if I still feel the same way and I am probably going to tell you "Hell NO!", but for right now, I am OK.

If I do go WAY up tomorrow (over a pound) then I will do an apple day again. That would definitely be a good punishment for the cheating, not to mention a good way to get back on track. I'm still gonna try like heck to get to 200 by Sunday. Hopefully I have not screwed that up too badly. I may have to take Kemi's advice and do a few dancing sessions just to burn off some extra fat and/or calories.