Day 25 of Phase 2

Day 27 of a 42 day program
Weight: 202.4

To see that weight you would think I got away with cheating. Trust me, I suffered. I was sick to my stomach and in the bathroom most of last night. I would say I slept maybe 3 hours total. Diarrhea is not the way that I wanted to lose weight.

I was back on the plan today and I feel pretty good about it. Hopefully my break from protocol is over and I can tap into some new strength to get through the remainder of the program.

As for tonight, I am going to bed early. I have sleep to make up.

Day 24 of Phase 2

Day 26 of a 42 day program
Weight: 203.6

There is something seriously wrong with me this week. I don't know how to describe it. I hate to blame any one thing: stress, crazy schedule, etc, but something is definitely not working in my will power department. What am I talking about?

I HAD MEXICAN FOOD FOR DINNER!! 

Not just something I made at home, I'm talking Tex-Mex, restaurant-style, dripping with oil fajitas. I didn't eat the beans (refried) that came with it, nor did I have cheese or sour cream on them. I even didn't touch the tortilla, but the oil dripping from the food was enough to lube up a __________________ (insert inappropriate simile here). I watched myself shovel the food (at least it was just chicken, onions and bell peppers) into my mouth. I ate what was probably at least 2 1/2 servings! I ate the WHOLE DAMN THING.

Now I'm home, uncomfortably full, and guilt laden. Why? Why? Why? I know better. It is like for the last 2 days I have been sabotaging my progress. I want so badly to get below 200. Hell my ultimate goal is 175. I am never going to get there if I keep this $h!t up!

I am scared to death about what the scale will say tomorrow... I got a reprieve this morning, but I doubt the diet gods will be so gracious tomorrow.

I am so disappointed in myself I can hardly even think of what to write. Ok, so I am going to get off here, take a bath, get out and stand buck naked in front of the mirror. If a long hard look at myself in the buff doesn't scare me back onto the right path, I don't know what will.

Day 23 of Phase 2

Day 25 of a 42 day program
Weight: 203.8

Wonderful weigh in this morning! I was so excited for the day to get started. Seeing that number brought with it a sense of renewed drive for the diet!

At least it did for the following 30 min.s. After that, things changed...

Today was my day off from the office, and I had hoped to spend it writing and doing some housework while my son was at preschool, then after picking him up spending some time as a mom. That sounded great to me, it's just not what happened. Instead the phone calls from the office started and continued. Staffing problems. Strike that, problem with a staff member. By the time 10 am rolled around I was so frustrated that I was already thinking of cheating. I guess stress makes me hungry.

I made it to lunch and had my tuna and some cucumber slices, an apple and Melba toast. I was good. It took all I had to just stick to the plan, but I did it.

The phone calls, texts, complaints, etc, all kept coming...

Then it happened. Once my son was home he wanted a "peep" as a snack. I was on the phone with the office and before I knew what I was doing I was chewing on a peep myself. I don't even like peeps... 37 calories. That is what that one peep equaled. 37 wasted calories.

By the time dinner rolled around I was beyond tired of the drama that I had been dealing with. I made stuffed bell peppers (with ground chicken). Had mine all weighed out and used Melba toast crumbs instead of rice in mine. I ate it like I had never had a bite of food in my life, so of course, because I ate it so fast, I was still REALLY hungry. I know this is wrong, and I know I should have fought the thoughts, but I honestly said (in my head) WTH, You already blew the diet for the day with the peep, might as well go all out! So I did. I ate the other 1/2 of my son's bell pepper. It had more sauce than I needed. It was made with rice and of course it was topped with a large blob of melted mozzarella cheese. Frankly it was, at that moment, the best thing I had ever eaten.

I know that I should feel guilt, and I am sure that I will tomorrow when I step up on the scale and see the number go way up, but right now I don't. I know it sounds nuts, not to mention anti-HCG protocol, but it was as if I NEEDED something more today. It wasn't a Chick-fil-a Cookies-n-Cream milkshake (570 calories for a small!), and to be honest I seriously thought about getting one, but it was still cheating and I know that I cannot do it again. Unfortunately, for tonight I am OK with my choice. Ask me tomorrow if I still feel the same way and I am probably going to tell you "Hell NO!", but for right now, I am OK.

If I do go WAY up tomorrow (over a pound) then I will do an apple day again. That would definitely be a good punishment for the cheating, not to mention a good way to get back on track. I'm still gonna try like heck to get to 200 by Sunday. Hopefully I have not screwed that up too badly. I may have to take Kemi's advice and do a few dancing sessions just to burn off some extra fat and/or calories.

Day 22 of Phase 2

Day 24 of a 42 day program
Weight: 205.2

The weigh-in this morning was disappointing as hell. There are no two ways around that fact. Down only 0.2. This is why I didn't want to jump and say I was off my plateau. I don't think I am.

I do have some positive things to report. Today I wore a pair of scrub pants to clinic that I have never been able to wear before. They were a pair that a friend (also a co-worker) and I had bought (matching pairs). She fit into hers, but mine were...well...tight. I could stand in them, but to sit down would run the risk of tearing the cloth across my large thighs. So needless to say I bought them saying they were "a good incentive to loose weight". That was 3 years ago. I have never lost enough weight to be comfortable in the pants. Today, I put them on and was so happy to find they were actually too big. Thankfully they are smaller than the pants I have been wearing to work so I don't look like M.C. Hammer in excessively baggy pants anymore, but I did make it a point to show my friend that I was in fact wearing the pants and that they were too big. Actually, I think I pointed it out to everyone in the office....Even my boss.

Doc asked me how much weight I have lost and I told him about 18 pounds. He smiled and asked if I needed help looking for them (since they are lost). I just laughed and told him, no, that they (the pounds) could stay lost forever and I would be perfectly happy. So yea me! I do think that there is some truth to the adage that if you are not loosing weight you might be loosing inches...I'm kinda liking to loss of inches part.

With that in mind, I am adding a goal to go along with the weight  - I want to be in a size 16 pant by the time this is all said and done. I'll take smaller if I can get it, but I want to be realistic and shoot for a 16. When I started this diet 24 days ago, I was in between a size 22 and a size 24. That is XXL size for the most part. Today my scrub pants were a XL, and for good measure, I tried on an 18 pair of jeans when I got home. Guess what - they fit. Talk about feeling good!

Just for laughs, here is the MC Hammer video "Can't Touch This". Check out his pants and see how I have been wearing mine, just imagine them in black!

With all that positive feelings and thoughts, you would think that I would be in the perfect frame of mind to kick the thought of cheating on this diet right out the door, but nothing is ever quite that easy. Again tonight I struggled with the idea of having just one tortilla along with my meat and bell peppers. The rest of my family were enjoying fajitas with cheese, chips and dip, and here I am with the meat and the equivalent of 1 cup of bell peppers. It was good, and I ate my Melba toast and had an apple afterwards, but still I had to talk myself out of "just one bite" of something that was "not allowed". Maybe that is it. Maybe I want it because I can't have it....Isn't there an old adage about that too?

Dear Kemi,
Thanks for keeping me updated. It has been so great to have your support and know that you are in the same place that I am with this diet. It really helps and I wanted to let you know I am always excited to read what you have written. How did your apple day go? I know by the time my final apple rolled around I was sick of seeing them, much less eating them. Do you do any kind of exercise with your diet? I know my doctor told me to limit the amount of extra calories I burn, but I am wondering if at this stage we need something. Let me know what you have been told and/or think.

Day 21 of Phase 2

Day 23 of a 42 day program
Weight: 205.4

Happy Easter everyone out there in the vast reaches of the internet. I sincerely hope everyone had a day to reflect on what Easter means to everyone individually - even if it is just another day for non-Christians, I still hope it meant something.

My Easter turned out to be pretty darn good and from an HCG diet standpoint, it was a great day of will power and perseverance. I say this because instead of cooking a traditional Easter dinner, my family (parents, brother, son, husband) all decided to go to a fantastic seafood restaurant for brunch. This restaurant also happens to be one of my most favorite in town, so imagine my great difficulty not ordering what I would normally.

Typically, I would order She crab soup to start, shrimp and grits as the main course, a fantastic slice of cheesecake drizzled with strawberry sauce and topped with cream, and to wash it all down a large glass of southern-style sweet tea. Wow, even just typing it out makes my mouth water with desire! Guess what though, NONE of that is allowed on the HCG diet - well at least not in Phase 2 - so with every ounce of will power I could summon, I ordered 1/4 Lb peel and eat shrimp and asked for a lemon slice and 2 stalks of celery. 1/4 Lb is 4 oz, so for good measure, I gave a shrimp to my brother. I am assuming that was as close to 3.5 oz I was going to get. There was no way I was going to tote my scale with me to the restaurant, so that was just going to have to work. I even ordered a non-sweet tea, and given Stevia is not available at this particular establishment, I used some of the lemon to add a bit of flavor and voila, my Easter brunch meal was created.

My parents didn't say a word and I think I surprised the hell out of the waitress when that was all I ordered. When we got home, I ate my Melba toast and an orange and my husband expressed to me how proud he was that I stuck to my guns on this. That made me feel pretty damn proud of myself and my choice.

Now, tonight was another story....

Dinner was fine. I had fresh tilapia seasoned lightly with Mrs. Dash and some Asparagus sauteed in lemon juice and garlic along with my Melba toast. That was the easy part and it was really good. The problem came with dessert. My son and husband both dove into the Easter candy and that sweet smell of the sugars hit me like a train going 100 miles an hour. I desperately wanted some. As a matter of fact, I wanted something so bad that I actually went into the kitchen and figured out the caloric intake of a single marshmallow peep! Then I tried to think of how much time I would have to spend on the treadmill to work off the one peep and by the time I had just about convinced myself it would be ok, it was time to get my son to bed. Talk about saved by the clock! I can just imagine my guilt had I gone through with it. After all, remember the camping trip? It took me 3 days and a trip to the Dr. to get over that little instance of cheating!

I still have my fruit that I need to eat tonight, and seeing as I am getting this entry done early tonight, I think I will be able to get it in and not have to forgo it. An apple cloud very well be the answer to my sweet tooth issue tonight. We shall see.

I'M OVER 1/2 WAY DONE!!!!

As I was recoding my weight, injection time, and injection location time in my HC log this morning, I realized that I am now over 1/2 way though this program. What a great feeling to know that I have stuck with it for over 20 days. This is no easy task and frankly I am very proud of myself for this accomplishment. That goes for everyone other there (Esp. you Kemi) that are right there with me in this journey. We Rock!

My weight today was down, although not as much as I would have liked it to be. I have some suspensions as to why I am not dropping like I was, but I want to do a little research into it before I post my suspicions. I still am not convinced that I have totally left the plateau yet either. If the weight lower again tomorrow, I will officially call it over, but for tonight, I would say I am still teetering on the edge.

My goal for this week is to be in the 100s by this time next Sunday, or at lest right at 200. That may be a really tough thing to do given how weird my losses have been over the last week and a half, but it is only  about 5.5 pounds away. I really want this! It will just mean that I have to be extra strong and not go looking for way to justify cheating.

Here's to a good week!

Day 19 & 20 of Phase 2

Days 21 and 22 of a 42 day program
Weight: 4/22/11 = 207.4
             4/23/11 = 206.2

The last I left this blog I was in a very frustrating place in my diet journey, to say the least. I woke up that next morning praying that the scale would show me something great. Something that would tell me that this was working. Something that would motivate me to push forward through this dark chapter...

What did I get? -0.2. That was it. Nothing motivating about that. Nothing at all. So I walked back to bed, thought very seriously about crawling back under the covers and having a good cry until I went back to sleep. That was 3 days in the 207 range. In diet terms - I hit a plateau.

So I didn't cry and after several choice curse words directed at my scale, I settled for sitting on my bed with my laptop and began scanning the net for ways to break an HCG diet plateau. I found several sites and several testimonials that explained many people on this diet hit a plateau at one point or another. Well, at least I am normal. Another thing they all had in common was the reference back to Dr. S's original manuscript and his "proven" plateau breakers: Steak day or Apple day. I went with Apple day.

In case you are not familiar with what an "Apple day" is, it is simply - you eat nothing but 6 apples spread out over the entire day. For me that meant a large apple at hours: 8, 10, 12, 2, 4 and 6. No other fruit. Not even the lemon. I did still have my coffee, which I did more for the sake of my coworkers than anyone else, but I did leave out all Stevia as another trick I read was to d/c all artificial sweeteners. That should have been enough, but I wanted to make double sure and I took things a step further. I made parsley tea (not great tasting, especially because I was not using sweeteners) because parsley is a natural diuretic. I figured if I still had any water weight hanging around from my system, this would be a sure fire way to get rid of it.

So did it work? Well, I guess. This morning the weight was 206.2. That is a little over a pound down from the previous day. I am not going to call this a break in the plateau until I have at least one more day of loss.

EATING OUT IS HARD TO DO!!
I say this because today was the first day I attempted to do this. I was out this afternoon, running around doing errands with my parents, son and brother. After we were finished it was the group's decision to head over to an restaurant to have some lunch. It was already after 12 noon and I was hungry. We went to McAlister's Deli, which is a salad and sandwich shop type place. I figured I could find something to eat there.

I ordered a salad with grilled chicken. I should have asked what all came on the salad. When I got it, it had to have at least 3 cups of greens, bacon, cheese, carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, croutons and of course there was the side of crackers. I looked at it and just sighed. I asked for a box and began to sift through the salad. Thankfully I had the forethought to order the salad without any dressings, so I didn't have that to worry about, but I think I spent the majority of the time picking out iceberg lettuce (what I thought equaled approximately a cup) and at 3/4 of the chicken. I had no control how they grilled the chicken and I am sure there was some kind of oil that was used, but I hope that it was not enough to make trouble. It is very time consuming to pick through all the good stuff and just eat the lettuce. If there was ever a doubt that I am committed to this diet, that act alone should have squashed it.

Unfortunately my salad picking actions did not go unnoticed by my parents. My father, who is a medical professional, had little to say when I finally explained why I was doing what I was doing. To me that is worse than him just coming out and telling me he thinks I am in the wrong. Silence is a killer.

Surprisingly, my mother, on the other hand, was very supportive. She commented that she knows several people who have worked their way through the program and have been very successful with it. She said she knows that it is a difficult plan and she was very proud that I have been able to stick to it. That was nice. Dad's reaction was still a bummer though.

Anyway, tomorrow is Easter Sunday and I am supposed to have brunch with my entire family at a seafood restaurant in downtown tomorrow after services. So another day of eating out complications. I guess I'll just do the best that I can.

READER COMMENTS
I want to take a moment to address something that was left for me as a reader comment. It is from a woman who is in about the same place that I am in on this crazy diet journey. She said that she had expected to be in the 100s at this point and was disappointed that she, like me is still a few pounds away from it. I cannot tell you how great it is to hear that someone else had the same expectations that I had, and that they too are frustrated with the progress.

I guess the important thing to remember is that we are making progress, even if it is slow progress. That is better than going backwards. Perhaps this is easy for me to write tonight because I had a loss this morning, so chances are when I find myself back in the "dark place" from yesterday, I may need someone to remind me of my small epiphany.

Day 18 of Phase 2

Day 20 of a 42 day program
Weight: 207.8

As you can see the weight was actually UP today. I have no idea why and I am so frustrated by this that I am on the verge of giving up. At this point, I know it was not the very slight cheating (that was even OK'd by the doctor at my appointment the other day - she said that TINY amount was not going to derail anything). So what the hell? My cycle is over, and I have resumed the injections (as of today), so I just don't get it. All I know is Chick-fil-a was calling my name on the way home and so was a beer when I actually got home (minus the Chick-fil-a by-the-way).

I'm so frustrated at this point, I just have very little to say. I just hope tomorrow, which is Good Friday, is that, a GOOD day.

Day 17 of Phase 2

Day 19 on a 42 day project

Weight: 207.6 

Today was my first follow up. It went well and I weighed in at their office at 210.0. That was after all my fluids from the morning and of course I was in heavier clothing than I normally weigh in at home. So they have my current weight loss being a little over 14 pounds. That is OK, but I was more interested in the measurements. 

• lost 1/4" to my right arm
• lost 1 1/4" to my left arm
• lost 1" to my neck
• lost 1 3/4" to my chest
• lost 1/2" to my midriff
• lost 1" to my waist
• lost 3/4" to my hips
• lost 1/2" to my right thigh
• lost 1/2" to my left thigh
• lost 1/4" to my right knee
• lost 1/4" to my left knee

That is close to 6" total lost. That is not bad, but frankly, I was surprised it was not more. I was looking in the mirror this morning and I thought I looked better. That was a great feeling. Then after my appointment I got home and all I saw in the mirror was an over weight cow. Yes, I realize this is not productive thinking. I know that this type of attitude makes it harder for me to move forward and way easy for me to fall backwards. Ok, so 20 more days (give or take a few)...

I wish I had more to go over, but I have a horrible headache so I am going to wrap it up early. Obviosuly no video blog today - I know, I'm slack. See you tomorrow. 

Day 16 of Phase 2

Day 18 of a 42 day program
Weight: 209.8

Yeah, you read that weight correctly. I swear I almost broke down into tears this morning. Only going down that 0.8 over the past weekend was bad enough, but to see that number this morning was almost too much. Trust me, seeing the number go UP hurts way worse.

I did go online and read through some HCG support forums and that was beneficial. They all had women who were going through their cycles as well, and most noted no loss and even some gain. That did help to ease the sting somewhat. Additionally, I re-read through the literature that was given to me at my initial Dr.s appointment and there is an entire section on menstruation. How I missed it the first time, I am not sure. I read everything so closely. Oh well, I am human. It did say to d/c the injections during the days of the cycle. Online the consensus is to stop for a minimum of 2 days. I did not take an injection today, and I do not plan on one tomorrow either. Since I have my follow-up appointment tomorrow morning, I will go over with them if they think the 2 days without the injections is enough, or if I should hold off during the entire time. That just seems like a really long time...

I was worried about being hungry since I had not taken the injection, but it felt like any other day on the VLCD. I find that I am getting used to eating at specific times of the day, and if I go much past those times, then I start to get that true uncomfortable, hungry feeling. Otherwise, I do just fine and today was no different.

A funny thing did happen to me. At least I had a thought that struck me as funny as it passed though my mind. I got out my lunch (3.5 oz tuna with 1 cup sliced cucumbers, 1 Melba toast, and an orange) and as I am eating I think: Man, This is a lot of food! The moment that thought came through my mind I almost laughed out loud. It was just 2 short weeks ago when I thought the amount of food I was allowed was not enough to sustain a toy poodle, much less an adult woman. Dinner tonight was much the same way. I had a filet, 1 cup of sliced bell pepper (grilled), 1 Melba toast, and an apple. Afterwards I felt completely full. It amazes me how much has changed in the last 2 weeks. It has to be some mental changes as well as, I'm sure, the physical shrinking of my stomach. I just hope when they take my measurements tomorrow, my body shows some shrinking as well. Guess we shall see.

I did get on the scale this evening. I know that I am only supposed to get on in the mornings, since that is the most accurate time to weigh one's self, but I just wanted to see. Low and behold I was a pound lighter than I had been in the morning. Maybe I had dropped some extra water weight over the course of the day, I don't know, but seeing 208.8 made me feel better about my decision to keep on. Although I have to admit that this morning, after I saw the increase, for the first time since I started the diet, I had to keep myself from driving to Chick-fil-a for that chicken biscuit. I was thinking comfort food. You'll be happy to know I drove right on by (small pain in my heart), just as I have done for the last 2 weeks. I just have to keep reminding myself:

THIS WILL ALL BE WORTH IT, THIS WILL ALL BE WORTH IT!

Day 15 of Phase 2

Day 17 of a 42 day program
Weight: 209.0

Well, I knew it would be bad, I just didn't think it would be this bad. The weight is only down 0.8! That is so disheartening! Question is, is it because of the cheating from this past weekend, or is it due to the time of the month? Who knows, but it makes it hard to push forward. This diet is so difficult and strict, and I need that reward of seeing the weight go down each morning to keep me going....

I have my doctor's appointment on Wednesday, I will discuss this with them and see what they say I should do. I know they will tell me to "keep on, keeping on" but that is easier said than done.

I did do an injection this morning even with it being my cycle...not sure if that was the right thing to do. I tried to call the Dr.s office, but no one called me back. I think I will skip tomorrows injection and just ask at my appointment.

On a plus note, I had fantastic creole shrimp for dinner - another great recipe from the cookbook I found online. The link to the book is back in day 2 I think of phase 2 entries. I'll find it later and repost a more current link.

Day 11-14 of Phase 2

Weight: 210.0 (as of Thursday, April 14, 2011)
Weight: 209.8 (as of Friday, April 15, 2011)
Weight: *DNR (Saturday, April 16, 2011)
Weight: *DNR (Sunday, April 17, 2011)
(*DNR = Did Not Record)

I realize that I have been missing from this blog for the last four days, and believe me, I have good reason for this. You might remember that I mentioned I was taking my son on his first camping trip, which is exactly where I have been. It was wonderful, and for the most part, I stayed strong and stuck to the diet...for the most part.

Obviously, I have no idea what my weights were for the days we were in the woods. I was not going to haul my scale with me. The idea was to get away from the everyday, and that we did. I do know that I burned a lot more calories than I would on a normal day while we were out there. For example, we hiked, we fished, we took the peddle boats out several times....all of this is more activity than I would get in a normal day, even a weekend day, here at home. I guess that is why I fudged a bit... Just a little, but the guilt is killing me, so I need to be accountable and lay it all out on the line here.

I roasted marshmallows. Yes, I know they are processed sugar, but I need something.... I needed to participate in a camping tradition and so I took one serving (which was 9 medium marshmallows) and roasted them. They came to a total of 110 calories. I know that I burned more than that earlier in the day - which was my justification, but I still have that little voice in the back of my head that is saying: Shame on you!! 


I had a second little cheat this afternoon (Sunday the 17th). We had not planned on staying long enough to need to eat lunch in the park, however, my son wanted to do more boating and fishing, so we stayed. I  had 2 uncooked chicken patties left that were not cooked the other night - they were back-ups, just in case. A chicken patty was good, what was not good is I had made the patties by mixing the meat with sharp cheddar cheese. Of course my ones I made for me didn't have the cheese, but I had already eaten them by the time lunch rolled around today. I had no choice. It was later (around 2 pm) and I was so hungry that I was feeling sick and shaky. I ate the patty. I still had broccoli, the Melba toast, and an orange, but I know the patty was more than 3.5 oz, and the cheese - it was not a lot of cheese, but I could taste it, so it was enough.

I know that this will effect what weight I see when I get on the scale in the morning. I am actually kind of worried about it. When I left on this trip, I had planned on returning home to at least 206, but I think that won't happen now. I'm hoping for 207, but I think that may even be a dream. I guess we shall see in the morning. One thing I have to remind myself is that I am in control of my results. If I screw up (i.e.; marshmallows and cheese stuffed patties) then I am not going to get the results that I want. Damn it!

So I have my next appointment set up, it is this coming Wednesday, and seeing as my lady time seems to be wanting to make an early appearance, it is going to allow for me to ask about taking the injections during menstruation - still need that answer. Guess the appointment is good timing. I'm sure this is the last thing anyone cares to read about, but if this blog ever found it's way into the life of someone looking for answers, I want the information to be available.

Back to work tomorrow. Ugh, but that is also the return to a more set routine and I can get back in the no cheat mode, which will be good. I am only 5 days away from being at the 1/2 way point. I was thinking that was a little closer than it is, since I have finished 2 weeks, but I have to keep in mind that this is a 42 day program, not 30. So hopefully tomorrow will be a good day, lacking in the stress department and I will have no hunger going into the week. That would be great.

Day 10 of Phase 2

Day 12 of a 42 day program
Weight: 212.2

This morning when I looked down at that weight I will admit that I almost cried. It is the first time that I have not seen the first part of the number (the 212 part) go down. I realize that I still lost over 1/2 a pound, and that should make me feel good, but really, given the results that I have been getting, it was hard to deal with. Maybe it was the beef? Nah, I doubt it. There was bound to be a time when the loss would not be what I want, but I was hoping that would occur as I got closer to my goal, not when I still have so much left to go.

So I finally have an answer to the how am I going to feel when I have to do some physical work: ie: mowing the yard. Yep, I mowed today, and survived. Actually I had no trouble at all. I did do some preparation though. I had my fruit with my coffee this morning, to give my body the energy that I knew it would need to get through the work. I was not overly tired - at least not anymore than normal, and I did not have a headache, which was something I was really worried about.

Tonight I will add to my superwoman profile: I walked away from cookie dough. I had to bake 32 cookies for my son's preschool class and more times than I can count, I tried to lift a clump of dough to my lips. Mostly habit, but I swear the little bunnies printed on the sugar cookies are calling my name in sugary little voices: Melissa, eat us, we are sooooo yummy! Yes, I am sure that they are, but if I did it then I just blew all the hard work that I have done over the last week and a half. I know that it probably would not have effected my weight numbers and probably would not have "ruined" the diet. What it would have ruined would have been would be my mental will power. Once I cheat, I know that I will always fall back on it. I can't allow it to happen, not even once. Long story short, No cookies, or even cookie dough touched my lips.

I got a lot done today, however the video did not get done. It is just going to have to wait until next week I think at this point. We will be out of town this weekend (Camping trip) and I will not be bringing my laptop. This will be a technology free weekend, so the video will have to be next Wednesday.

Speaking of the trip. I have already pre-planned out all my food and I think that things are going to be fine. I can't, of course, participate in the marshmallow roasting, or the smores (Damn) but it will all be worth it in the long run to hold strong. The trip is about being with my son and his first camping experience, not about food anyway.

I didn't eat my fruit with my dinner tonight, because I thought I would have it as a snack later, but guess what, I forgot....AGAIN. At least it was not an entire meal this time and only the fruit, but yes, I know this is a trend that I need to get out of. Back to work tomorrow and I think that routine helps to keep me straight.

Day 9 of Phase 2

Day 11 of a 42 day program
Weight: 212.8

Another day come and gone and I am realizing that this diet is getting easier and easier. I had almost no hunger pains today and that is great for me. Things at work are tough and they are making me an emotional wreck. Before I would have turned to some kind of comfort eating as a way to get through the day, however since that is NOT an option, I have found that I have been more verbal in dealing with the issues and that has helped to (at least begin) resolve the situations and conflicts in the office. I guess this diet is helping me in more ways than it was intended to.

Tomorrow will be my busy day - figures since it is the one day off that I have a week. I have so much to do, but I need to make sure that I eat. That seemed to be the problem this past weekend when I was at home. The hunger pains are gone and I just forgot to eat. So I will have to just make myself stop and take time to sit and eat. I have so much to do, but I know I can't skip anything, especially since I am already taking in such a very limited amount of calories. Not to mention that I still have to mow the yard - gonna need the energy to do that!

Day 8 of Phase 2

Day 10 of a 42 day program
Weight: 213.6

Today was a terrible, no good, very bad day at work. Thankfully it was not as a result of hunger. Actually I got through the day feeling pretty good. I even had less coffee than I normal do. One thing I did today that was new is I brought a 1/2 gallon container of the Lemonade I mentioned on yesterday's blog entry. It helped so much, especially when you just need a "little something".

My prepackaged lunch of grilled chicken burger and broccoli went well. I was afraid that having cooked the meat and then frozen it in the same baggie as the broccoli would cause it to have a funky taste, but nope, all was good...actually the taste was really good.

I have also resigned myself to the fact that I am going to have to cook at least 2 meals for dinner. I say  "at least two" because I was superwoman tonight and cooked 3 different meals all at the same time. Why, you might ask, well it is simple. I was cooking veal (yes I know I said no beef this week, but veal is super lean and is only a starter cow, right?) and I knew my husband was going to want something more than just veal sautéed in chicken stock, so I made him veal marsala. I also knew that there was no way my son, at four years old, was going to eat and enjoy veal, so Voila Mac and Cheese was made. For me I had none of the the two which just about killed me, they both look and smelled so great, and instead I cooked my veal and added some spinach. Ehhh, it was OK. I won't do it that way again.

I had 4 large strawberries dusted with Stevia for desert and that was a nice treat. The protocol says I can have a handful of strawberries and that is what the 4 came out to, so I was happy with that. It was a nice change from an apple or an orange. I did the 1/2 a grapefruit thing a couple of nights last week, and I guess it is the way that I was programmed, but to me grapefruit is a breakfast thing. At some point I may do a bit of a switch up and take the fruit from my lunch and eat it as a breakfast. If I do that, then I would re-try the grapefruit at that point.

I was thinking tonight about how I physically feel on this diet - other than the hunger that I felt in week one - and I have noticed that I am ready for bed quite a bit earlier in the evenings that I had been before I started the diet. What is an even bigger change is that when I go to sleep, I stay asleep all night long. This is a very welcome change for someone who has been battling insomnia for the better part of 2 years now. I'm not sure if it is the decrease in calories that is making this change possible, or if maybe I am detoxifying crap out of my body, or maybe the weight loss is making me more comfortable and I am able to sleep now. I have no idea what is behind it, BUT I LIKE IT!


So, all and all it was a good start to my second week on the VLCD. I feel confident that I will be able to survive until friday without breaking the protocol. I hope to create and upload my second video on Wednesday, so look for it.

Day 7 of Phase 2

Day 9 of a 42 day program
Weight: 214.4

I have officially survived a week on phase 2. I know it sounds silly, but I think it is a huge accomplishment. It has been a lot of mind over matter. I have had to convince myself that while I feel hungry, I don't NEED that extra amount.

Over the last week, there are a few things that I have figured out:

1. Don't settle for small apples. If the grocery store you go to only has the smaller versions, take the extra time and gas it takes to get to the next store. The small apples will not help, as a matter of fact they will leave you feeling hungry. The larger apples fill the need for something sweet and have enough substance to keep you going and stay off the hunger. The protocol won't all two small apples in the place of one large one. You get ONE and that is it, so make it the right size!
2. A lemon, 1/2 gallon of water, and 1/2 cup Stevia = GREAT LEMONADE! This has been a great, refreshing way to get more water during the day. Drinking Iced tea is also a great substitute, but there is just something so great about this combo!
3. Positive Thinking Yields Positive Results. A lot of the last week has been mind over matter. I have had to convince myself that I am not hungry when everything inside of me was screaming that I was. Ultimately, as the week went on, it got easier and the easier it got the more excited I was to be able to get through another day. 

A funny thing happened today. I almost forgot to eat. I was not hungry at all. It was like I hit the one week mark and Voila, I lost my hunger. I actually did not even eat lunch until almost 2 pm. That was odd to me, because for the majority of last week I was counting down the minutes until 12 noon so that I could get something into my stomach. Today was kinda a nice change. The only problem is I ate lunch on the fly so I did not get my veggie or fruit with that meal. I did have an apple as a snack later on, so that made up for part of that. Still - no hunger.

As I sit here writing I started to try to remember what I had for dinner and I just realized that I didn't. This is not good, and it is 10pm, too late to eat tonight. Of course thinking about it now my stomach has started to growl and I feel slightly hungry....only slightly. Ohhh, so I need to add a number 5 to the above list: Remember To Eat.

I did go ahead this afternoon and make up some chicken burgers (3.5 Oz grilled) and veggies (1 cup) and out them together in baggies and froze them. Quick lunches for when I don't have time to make something in the mornings. I also bought more diverse proteins for meals during my grocery store trip today so we will be having a lot more seafood and no beef this week. I ate too much beef this week. They say (online) that I should eat less than 93% beef, and I would say that I ate closer to 45-50% this past week. Maybe that is why I lost only 1 pound a day (on average).

One of the things that I had been worried about was how I would feel once I did some physical labor; i.e.: yard work this weekend. Unfortunately, I don't have an answer for that question. Time slipped by me this weekend and it was the one chore that I did not get to. I will have to do it on Wednesday, so I should have the energy report in 3 nights.

So my total loss for the last week was 9.6 pounds. That is from the 224 that the Dr.s office has me weighed in initially. Although I still think that 222 would be the more correct start weight, since that is what they have on record, that is what I am going with. I'm excited for the next week! Hopefully it will go by quickly and I am able to keep strong.

Day 6 of Phase 2

Day 8 of a 42 day program
Weight: 215.6

My first Saturday on the VLC portion of the diet went well I am happy to report. I was on my own most of the day so it was easy for me to just eat what I should. Tomorrow will be a bit more troublesome I'm afraid, mainly because I will have so much that I need to get accomplished and I am worried that I will not have enough energy to get it all done.

One thing I did notice today was the fact that being at home I did not consume as much caffeine as I do when I am at work, and as a result, my headache was back. Aleve took care of it, but I am pretty sure it was caffeine withdrawal.

I found a great online book today written by: Tammy Skye; The HCG dieter Gourmet Cookbook: Phase Two. I think other than the original protocol manuscript this book will be the most valuable thing I can read. It lists the foods that OK for the diet along with some great sounding recipes for each. I am so excited to have found this. I was beginning to get really concerned that I would get board with just grilling my food. This gives me so many more options. The book was written by a woman who went through the diet and was successful with it. I think that is a pretty good endorsement.

I am thinking about doing a Vlog in addition to this written blog. It can act as a visual record and perhaps show the changes that I will hopefully go through in the next 34 days. If I do decide to do it, I will post links here. I am also thinking I will post my food logs on a separate page here on this blog.

Tomorrow is the next grocery store trip, I am defiantly changing up the meats that I eat. Gonna add more seafood and try to limit the beef. Think I'll get some ground chicken to replace the ground beef and add some veal. Now that I know that I can have chicken broth (salt free) I have so much more that I can do with the food.

Day 5 of Phase 2

Day 7 of a 42 day program
Weight: 216.4

Today was a good day. Hunger was still present, but it was limited to the evening time so that is encouraging.  I even managed to cook some other foods for my family in all the oils and yummy things that I am not allowed to eat at the moment and while it looked and smelled amazing, I was OK just sticking with my limited meal.

I think the gas deal from yesterday was a product of the crazy morning. I didn't have any problem with it today at all - thank God!

Not much to report today other than I am proud that I have been able to stick to my guns on this for the last work week - now the true test will be getting through the weekend!

Day 4 of Phase 2

Day 6 of a 42 day program
Weight: 217.4

This morning started out late. I overslept, as I had forgotten to set my alarm on my iPhone, and so I was hurried as I got ready, did my injection, threw together lunch, and headed out the door. I drank my usual 2 bottles of water during my little-over-an-hour-commute, but I noticed that I was not as hungry as I had been over the last few days. This is a good thing. What new thing I did notice, and I am not sure if this is just a product of the frantic morning, was that I belched more and had more stomach gas than I can ever remember having in my life. This is embarrassing, but hey, I told you I would lay it all out on the line. I wonder if this may be a part of my body's reaction the some of the foods that I am eating. The reason I even mention it, is this lasted through the entire morning and well into the afternoon before it finally stopped. Really odd. So if this was just a fluke and due to the hectic morning, then it won't repeat, but if it does happen again, it may be something I should bring up with the doctor.

Other than that, things were business as usual. I am still getting the hunger pains after I finish my VLC meals. I am hoping that it gets better. Again, this may be something that I may need to bring up at my next appointment. With all that I have read online about the HCG diet, most people (grant it, not all) have very little appetite. I still feel like I could eat the entire cow, not just the rump roast.

I think I am going to have to find some recipes and branch out to other lean proteins...tuna, and beef are getting pretty boring and I am only about a week in...

Energy levels are good though. I'm tired at the end of the day, but not more so than I was before the diet. This weekend I have some home chores that I need to do, and they involve yard work. I guess that will be a good test on how much I can really function with the limited caloric intake.

Day 3 of Phase 2

Day 5 of a 42 day program

So today was a good test of my willingness to make the HCG and Very Low Calorie Diet (VLCD) work. Today was my first day of being part time with work and the first day I stayed home as a result. It was a full day at home with my 4 year-old son, who of course in not on the diet, so the idea of snacks and more full, fun-filled meals was at the forefront most of the day.

His was waffles with fruit topping and a large glass of milk, my breakfast consisted of 2 large glasses of hot tea with Stevia. I never thought about missing dairy, but I do. His lunch was PB&J sandwich with juice and chips. My lunch was 3.5 oz of chicken, broccoli, Melba toast and an orange. Now for dinner, I chose to make my family the same thing that I made for myself which again was Chicken (3.5 oz for me), sautéed in spiced tea and orange slices. I included a cup of broccoli for me, but my family had Indian style rice with theirs.

The rice looked good, I'm not going to lie, and I really wanted some, but I was good. I passed up the rice, just as I passed up the PB&J and the waffles and fruit topping. It all looked wonderful and it made my mouth water to look at it and smell the smells, but I'm only into this diet 3 days, it would be bad to sabotage myself this early. Scratch that, early or late in the game, I will not sabotage myself!

I wonder when it is normal to start loosing weight with this diet? The protocol requires me to weigh myself every morning. Kind-of a keep yourself in check kind-of deal, and I have seen a drop already. I wonder if that is mainly the weight that I added while loading. I wasn't going to post my weight on here, but I think since this is a way to keep me accountable, along with a way to help others, I have changed my mind.

• On my initial visit with the medical practice (grant it I was weighed in jeans and a sweatshirt) I weighed in at 224 Lbs. 
• On my first morning (before I started loading) I weighed in @ 222. I think this is a more accurate start weight.
• On the second morning of loading I weighed in @ 226.
• On the first morning of the VLCD (after 2 days of loading), I weighed in @ 226.6.
• Yesterday (day 2 of VLCD), I weighed in @ 223.
• This morning I weighed in @ 219.

From this point on, I will post my morning weight along side the "day such-and-such of a 42 day program" note at the top of each post. I think this will help, like I said, to keep me accountable and if this diet plan works as well as I hope it does, maybe the numbers will be an inspiration to others who may want to give it a shot. 

I know that in my previous post I mentioned that I had a headache. It was a bad headache and yes, it made me question if this was a good idea for me given my already painful relationship with migraines, however, I am happy to report that with the use of 800mg of Advil, the headache resolved and has not returned. 

One thing I am quickly learning is that lemons are invaluable on this diet. You drink so much water that you have to be able to change it up and lemons are the prefect cure. You can only have 1 lemon a day, but you will find that you can make that last. As I close in on a week on the diet, I am encouraged, and I still feel like I want to continue with it. 

Day 2 of Phase 2

Day 4 of a 42 day program

I have done the math - very simple math ;) - and I have consumed 1K calories in the last 48 hours. That is about 1/3 of what I had been consuming on a daily basis. When I first learned about this protocol of 500/cal a day I thought I would be grumpy, tired, and utterly unpleasant. Fortunately for my family, coworkers, and friends this (so far) has not been the case. I have had no dip in energy, which I think is really surprising, and my attitude has been about the same. 

As for hunger I find that I am only hungry (stomach growling) right after I have eaten. Yes, I know that sounds backwards, but it's the truth. Once I finish eating all the sudden my body is crying out for more food. There is a period of about 5 minutes when I would have sworn I had never eaten. Now, grant it, there is no pain, just a noisy stomach, but still before I would have taken this as a sign it is time to eat. The good side of this is for the majority of the day and after that initial 5 minutes of eating, I feel no hunger at all. This was a change from day one, so I can only assume that it will continue to get better. 

I will admit that mornings remain hard. My body and brain still think that it needs to be taking in more than tea, water, and coffee. 

Now, the HCG diet comes with a warning. It states that this diet (and the hormone HCG) can cause headaches. I suffer from migraines normally anyway, but I wanted to take this risk to finally lose the weight. For the majority of the evening of Day 2 I have had a headache. The question is, is it due to the HCG, or is it due to the stress that I am under at work. I suppose I will have to just treat it as a normal headache and see how things go. 

I have downloaded a copy of Dr. Simeons' book Pounds and Inches. (Click the name of the book if you would like your own copy.) I will spend some time reading it to get a better idea of the original thinking behind the diet and the science.  

Let The Strictness Begin!! Day 1 of Phase 2

Day 3 of a 42 day program

Today was my first day in phase 2 which is the super restricted phase. I consumed only 500 calories throughout the entire day, and survived.

This morning was hard for me. I don't think that I was physically hungry as much as mentally hungry. I have eaten breakfast most morning for 32 years. That kind of habit is hard to break, but I did it. I drank 2 bottles of water during my commute to work and once there I switched to coffee with stevia. The sweetener took a bit of getting used to, but it was not too bad. Once I got moving at work, I forgot that I had not eaten and did just fine until lunch.

I ate my lunch (tuna on lettuce with 1/2 of a lemon squeezed over it and a melba toast slice), and I felt pretty full afterwards. I even held of eating my apple. Figured it would make a good snack around 3 pm. Well, I didn't make it to 3 o'clock. At about 2:30 I was hungry and so I ate the apple and I wish I could say that it cured my hunger, but no. So I drank 2 more bottles of water and while that helped, I stayed hungry most of the afternoon. Again, I am not sure that it is so much physical as it is mental. I usually snack quite a bit while I work - granola bars, trail mix, etc - and I think my brain was just throwing a temper tantrum.

After about 5 pm, I was ok and on my way home. As a matter of fact, I was OK enough that I didn't think about food until I got home and started to prepare dinner.

Now - Dinner is over and I felt full when I finished (Beef/bell peppers/orange/melba toast) and since then I am felt hungry again. This time it feels more physical - stomach growling and other things like that. I have no idea why and I will admit that I am uncomfortable. I used the other 1/2 of the lemon in a large glass of water and again it helped some....some.

So overall, it was not a bad day. It was not easy to ignore what my brain was telling me I needed. I could still eat tonight, especially something sweet, but how pathetic would that be to fail on the first day of the second phase. Nope. Not gonna happen. I am way to stubborn to fail that easy. I will make this work.

"Loading" Day 2

Day 2 of a 42 day program

It is now the end of the second and final day of loading. I feel physically ill. I have consumed more fat and calories in the last 48 hours than I think I have in the last month. All I want to do is go to bed. My mother used to always tell me that if I ate nothing but what she referred to as "crap" then that is exactly what I would feel like... Crap. Well, Mom, hope you are reading this, because it turns out you were right. At the moment, I am very glad to know that tomorrow the total number of calories I will intake will be 500. That is at the moment. We'll see if that feeling holds through tomorrow night.

As a side note, I went online to see how I should prepare the limited food that I will be consuming. There are a lot of recipes for phase 3 (Maintenance) but little on what people who are on the strict phase 2 should do. I guess it is trial and error. I found a site that looks promising. You can read the recipes HERE.

As for tonight... I think I will just pass out and pray for a good start to phase 2 early in the morning.

"Loading" Day 1

Day 1 of a 42 day program

Loading should be a fat person's dream come true. It is eat as much as you want, of whatever you want, whenever you want to eat it. Then once you have done all that, you are supposed to eat some more. Sounds easy - yeah, not so much.

I worked for starters and it is extremely hard to just stuff your mouth when you are trying to see patients at the same time, so needless to say the majority of my loading came after I got off work. I basically ransacked Taco Bell. I think the guy at the drive through window thought I was ordering for a party.

• 4 bean burritos
• 3 soft tacos
• 1 half pound cheesy potato burrito
• large Pepsi

For lunch I did have a taco salad from Jason's Deli with chicken chili, sour cream, and guacamole. I even added a good 'ole southern large sweet tea for extra sugar and calories. I really must have been craving Mexican food...

For breakfast I had an egg, chicken (Fried) and cheese bagel from Chick-fil-a with a large sweet tea. So I know I got WAY more fat in me than I would have had on a normal day, but still I know it was not the type of "Loading day" this diet calls for. Day 2 loading will have to pick up the slack I am afraid.

So you may be wondering how the injection went. I was surprised at how easy it was and how little trouble I had doing the injection on myself. The needle is small and I had more than enough skin to pinch to administer the subcutaneous (SQ) injection to, so there was no pain. After the HCG was injected there was a brief time of itching, but that resolved on its own within 1-2 minutes. Since I did not allow the HCG to warm before I injected it, I did have the sensation of cold around the injection site, but that was quickly resolved with my own body temperature taking over.

Day two will need to be filled with more fat and calories and this will also be the day that I head to the grocery store to prepare for Monday - the first day of the 500 calories restriction.

Signed Up, Weighed In, & Measured Up

Ok, so we all know about fad diets and I will admit when a friend told me about the HCG diet, I was skeptical. It sounds almost too good to be true and we all know that if it sounds that way, typically it is. So I started to do a little digging. Turns out this diet has been around since the 1950's and was designed by a British OBGYN named A.T.W. Simeons, MD. (If you are interested in a history of the diet and Dr. Simeons, CLICK HERE. )

One thing that I found out from reading about this diet over the last 2-3 weeks is there is a lot of hype and a lot of doubt associated with the HCG diet. Well, that is true of pretty much any diet plan, even ones which are supposed to be the best, i.e: Weight Watchers (WW). I've been on WW off and on my entire adult life, and I know that it works, but lately I have hit that dreaded plateau, mentally and physically, and I need something new to get back into the diet frame of mind. (I still have a good 60 pounds left in my weight loss endeavor.)

I researched my local area for physicians who provide HCG diet plans and made an appointment to meet with one. This is important. If you google HCG diets, you will find that there are a lot of people, places, books, and what not that say you can do this diet plan without being under the care of a physician. THIS IS NOT A SMART IDEA FOR ANYONE; anytime that you inject or ingest a medication it needs to be supervised by a medical professional, don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

At my appointment, I received a full medical physical to ensure that I could use the diet in a healthy way, and my weight was recorded along with my body measurements (arms, hips, thighs, bust, etc). This was the worst part of the appointment for me. I know that I have come a long way from where I was even a year ago, but my body is still a major source of embarrassment for me and to have someone see me in my underclothing and nothing else was well....not fun. The risks and potential benefits of the diet were then explained to me in detail along with the important information that the FDA has not approved the use of the hormone HCG as a weight loss treatment. At this point I was given the option of proceeding with the diet plan or taking more time to think about my options. Since I had done the research and understood the plan I decided to proceed.

The program in a nut shell is this:

• 2 days of "Loading" - Which is essentially eating as much fat as you can in a 48 hour period. A good explanation of what loading is and why it is important can be found HERE. You will be injecting the HCG hormone on these two inital days, eventhough you are consuming all the high fatty foods. I know this sounds counter-productive to what you are trying to acomplish with a diet, but there is science behind why this should be done. 
• 500 Cal/Day - The remainder of the program sounds way harsh. You eat only 500 calories per day for the remaining (maximum) 40 days. You cut out all sugars, starches, and oils and limit what foods you eat to a specific list of proteins, veggies, fruits, and some carbs. Every day you inject the HCG hormone. There is some confusion - at least for me - as to if I am to continue to take the injections during menstruation cycles or not. I will have to call and check with the physician and report this information at a later time. The information that can be found online states that the HCG hormone should not be taken during that time, although there was no literature stating this in my new patient information. 

Like most diet plans, the HCG diet is not covered by my medical insurance and the cost out-of-pocket was expected once I made the decision to move forward.

Am I still a tad skeptical that this will work? Yes, however I am encouraged by the science that I have read behind the plan. So I will give this diet plan a shot and record my experiences here. Tomorrow I take my first injection and begin my loading.